here we are again.

Am I the only one who questions my purpose and identity on a monthly basis? Honestly - I can't tell you how much time I spend researching careers and projects - reading Etsy sellers success stories and trying to figure out how I can make my crafting dreams come true. Because I DO want to use my time well and be industrious. I DO want to have a creative outlet and find fulfillment in my work. But I'm reminded of Matthew 6:33 "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." 'These things' that this verse is talking about we find in the previous verses - food, drink, clothing - essentially: provision. God knows my desires and needs - and he's already made provision for me. He knows that what is going to satisfy my need for purpose and meaning is Him. He has given me all I need in Him!
Ephesians 3:17-20 says: "so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith - that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you maybe filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen."
I am loved by my Creator - truly he has withheld no good thing from me!
 So I'm going to keep my heart and mind busy seeking him - and trust that all things will be added to me!

San Francisco

With winter feeling endless I am longing very much for a view like this. The travel bug usually bites about this time of year and boy oh boy does CA sound divine.

via pinterest

shameless plug

I've been working on my Etsy shop. Check it out and support my life. (Since I don't have April Ludgate to be my marketing rep I gotta just copy her style. Andy is so lucky.)

And listen to this while you're at it:

It's a happy, encouraging reminder. :)

year 2

This year for our anniversary Craig and I decided to spend a day in Cleveland celebrating. After all, we live in a great city - no need to travel anywhere else to do something out of the ordinary!

We started out the day having brunch at a place called Luxe in Ohio City. Tasty food can be had in really interesting and lovely surroundings.
This photo of our coffee cups makes me smile. Craig doesn't usually drink coffee (he tries to stay away from caffeine) but he did that morning because he knows how much I love drinking coffee with him. It's such a simple joy to drink a cup of coffee with someone and I loved that he ordered it just to bless me. :)

After brunch we headed out to the art museum, taking a quick stop at Rockefeller Greenhouse. It's free and open to the public every day, 10-4. Such a refreshing spot, especially in chilly winter!

From there we headed to the Cleveland Museum of Art. They've been doing some serious renovating and I haven't been in ages so it felt like visiting the museum for the first time. Wandering around all that beautiful art is such a re-fueling exercise.
There's a bright, expansive indoor courtyard in the middle of the museum. Shows the connection between the original building and the newer buildings. 

I love this chair. Someday I'll own one.

After leaving the museum we stopped at Edison's Pub in Tremont for drinks and to play pool (one of Craig's favorite pastimes). Lots of fun!

 

The day ended with this ridiculously tasty chocolate cake from Giant Eagle, Mario Kart and pizza ordered in. 

  

I love my husband.

I love my city.

I love having fun in your neck of the woods.

I want to draw!

I've never been much of an artist. I've daydreamed of creating breathtaking doodles in a cinch, of sketching a beautiful landscape while sitting on a hillside (very Jane Austen like) and of adding watercolors to a quick room design I've done that would make it worthy to sit next to Albert Hadley's renderings.

Alas, I wasn't a kid who drew all the time. I took an art class in high school and the teachers didn't really know how to direct me. They encouraged me to loosen up my lines, to relax and they said everything short of "just get better at drawing". When I took a photography class in college the ability to create something lovely was exhilarating. It didn't matter that I couldn't draw a chair or make the vase look round - I had an eye for beauty and the camera was the means to capture it.

I have a husband who can come up with the most darling cartoons and creative patterns on a piece of paper that was left out. I love to appreciate his talent, to hang up sketches he did when he was a kid and to secretly want to punch him for the fact he doesn't even have to try to have this talent. (I sure do love him, in spite of his excessive talents.)

So in order to get my creative urges out of my system I plan to take more photography trips just for the fun of capturing life with my camera. I took one down to frozen Lake Erie last week and it was marvelous. Cold, but marvelous. I'll be adding a few of the shots to my Etsy shop later today, but here's a sneak peek:

It's such a different feeling when you're on a frozen beach. No waves crashing, just stillness.

But to sum up this rather scattered post - I want to keep going in the direction of creative outlets I know I have some talent for...but I do also want to get better at drawing. I have a book I bought back in college called "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain". It's full of lessons and exercises to help you learn to draw. We'll see how I do. Please, no expectations.

Anybody have any good tips for improving drawing skills?
(Simply posessing talent doesn't count as a tip.)

my elusive dream

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately..well always. Sometimes the creative world is overwhelming. There are so many options and there are so many reaaaally talented people out there. I have a hard time figuring out just what I want to do, what creative direction I want to take. Or worse, I often don't feel like I have anything to contribute and no direction to move towards.

I knew in 8th grade I wanted to be an interior designer. I stuck with that plan all through high-school, went to college and came out with a degree in Interior Design. And then I was never quite able to find the right job. I worked for a local architect and while I greatly admire his work & learned much from him, I didn't feel there was a future there for me. I wanted to learn how to be a designer and I wasn't learning that there. So I took a job as an assistant designer with a jewelry chain. I enjoyed doing the layouts for the store, but again - that felt like a limited path for me. I moved to another position with the company as a construction coordinator. I learned a lot about how to order material, work with vendors and construction sites and do some project management. But the purchasing/coordinating world wasn't the direction I wanted to move up in, so I left that job.

Since then I've been pursuing my photography business. Figuring out exactly where I want to take it, what I want to do with it. I know I'll be taking pictures for the rest of my life - but I don't know what role photography will continue to play in my vocation. Because the truth is, I love interior design. Nothing gets me excited or my brain ticking in quite the same way. I'm throwing around the idea of starting a small consultation business - helping people re-do a room on a small budget. Because working with what you have and making purchases on a tight budget are kinda a blast for me. It's what I've done with our apartment and now our house and it gives me an incredible sense of accomplishment when I'm able to "make it work" in a way that would make Tim Gunn proud.

I'm not sure yet exactly which way to go. But I'm resting in the peace of knowing that God has me exactly where He means to. 

In a moment of feeling overwhelmed I happened to turn on the radio. And good ole' MJ came on.

I danced around the living room and actually did feel less stressed.

Here's to someday knowing what I want to do when I grow up.

yesterday

Craig and I celebrated 2 years of marriage yesterday. Just like the day we were married, Ohio graced us with freezing temperatures & a snowy landscape.
God has been so good to us. We've grown and changed and learned how to care for each other better. Marriage can be tough - but God is so full of grace and mercy towards us.
Here's to 100 more years.

light up

"She lights up like a firefly whenever you're around." | it's a wonderful life

happy new year!

After a really hectic (and wonderful) Christmas week we decided to stay in for New Years. It was a relaxed cozy night with the one I love and I'm so thankful he was willing to stay in with his 'often less social than him' wife. :) Here we go into 2013!

happy Christmas!

my fave ornament since I was a kid :)

our marvelously snowy street!

  

one of our first "married" ornaments - compliments of my sister, Jodi :)

He's nothing like me.

The other day I watched a video my friend Mary had posted from her mom's 50th birthday celebration a couple years ago.
The video was full of happy family moments and kind words about Mary's mom from each of the kids and their spouses.
One of the things said about her was "you have no enemies."
This line has stuck with me over the past couple days.
Could I say I have no enemies?

Rather than let this thought drive me mad wondering "what DO people think of me?!"  I want to use it as a reminder. A reminder of who I represent. For people who don't know the Lord (and even those who do), I'm what they know of Him. I'm His representative and I want to act like Him. I watched the movie "Blue Like Jazz". I'm not sure what I thought of the movie as a whole - but there was a line right at the end that cut me deep. He's apologizing to a friend for how he's acted, how he's misrepresented Jesus. And he says "He's nothing like me". He isn't prideful, He doesn't fall short as a friend, He doesn't struggle to be kind and on and on.

This same theme has been coming up a lot for me these past few weeks. I started a job with our church and one part of my job is cleaning the church. My pride sure made the first couple weeks of cleaning difficult. All I could think of was how I was too talented, too smart and really just too good to be cleaning the church. I thought the task was below me.

But Jesus never acted how He could have. He was (and is!) royalty, and not just earthly royalty, but heavenly, everlasting Kingdom royalty. He got down, on hands and knees, and washed the dusty feet of His disciples. I need His example. I need to look to Him and see how I should behave and spend my time here on earth.

I'm a visual learner/rememberer (nope, not a word). So while these aren't exactly Scripture truths - I think they're good reminders. All found via Pinterest.

work it

I don't like working out. I don't think many people really do.
But lately my workout has consisted of playing Wii Sports and Just Dance.
It's pretty awesome and way more fun than doing Pilates.